Have you ever turned up at work to find the boss in a bad mood, then discover that you too are having a bad day? Not only that, but everyone around you is feeling down? It may not be news to you that emotions are contagious, that people can be infected by our mood. However, what may be new to you is that you choose your mood. You have to give permission to yourself, or allow yourself, to be in this particular mood. Psychologists call a mood “State”. All behaviour is a result

Managing people can be a mixed blessing at times. They can frustrate you, almost to the point of purposeful sabotage. Many managers and supervisors get swept up in the day-to-day “must-do” that they get burnt out trying too hard getting the work out of the door. Most people know that the bulk of workplace learning happens doing the job itself, not in the sterile environment of a classroom or the 2 dimensional flat screen approach to many legislative-driven learning initiative

At one end of the scale you have out-and-out bullying with ethical persuasion at the polar opposite. From the selfish manager who just uses her team to get whatever it is that they want to the passive-aggressive who undermines your confidence to mould you into a jelly to get their way and they want it now! This corporate world is filled with managers and leaders who got where they wanted to get to by treading on other’s heads and if that’s what it takes to stay there, then so

I want to share one of the most forehead-slapping learning points that I’ve ever had when dealing with difficult behaviours. Changing someone’s behaviour has got to be the most challenging topic for any manager in today’s environment. This probably holds true for millennia because the issues go back to the dawn of time, but I’m getting way ahead of myself. It was during research for a client on Conflict Management that I ran across a sentence that leapt out of the page at me

There are many times that we need to get work done quickly and efficiently. We often go into “tell-mode” when time is short or we are under pressure. Telling people what to do is ok when we want our own way, to our specific details. The problem is when we come across a situation or a person where it is they who have the power to decide when and how they do something we want done. It is in these situations when we realise the limits of our power and skills of communication. Th

Questions. They are powerful things, aren’t they? They can change how you feel, from sad to happy, or they can change your life, like the question posed in the headline. Questions use what we like to call ‘pull’ communication to bring out your answer, which is the most powerful answer because it comes from you. You own it. Top performance coaches use ‘pull’ communication to get the very best from people and use the directive ‘push’ communication very little. Most people use ‘

Relationships The core of his success lies in the relationships he has with his players. He knows them intimately to the point where he knows how to get the very best from them. How he does this is very straightforward however his methods are hard to replicate. He forms strong bonds with the key characters in the club. This includes the back room staff as well as the Board of Directors. He knows, through bitter experience, how it is when relationships at Board level go wrong.

Are you one of those people who find social situations difficult and are secretly jealous of those who can just fit into any situation and get along with others easily and effortlessly? You envy those social butterflies who can flit from person to person, smiling and relaxed, seemingly without a care in the world. Getting along with people is a skill that some of us miss out on in early life and we forget that this can still be developed later on in our lives. Being confident

As an effective leader, your job is to spot the difference between a temporary blip in performance and a much more serious dip. You need to know about performance issues before they become a problem. There was a time when you could do this just by using your instinct or intuition and some managers still operate this way. However, times have changed. It is no longer good enough to operate using your experienced antenna as a guide to current performance levels. Let’s face it: y

Everybody lies, don’t they? From those little comments that spare someone’s blushes (white lies), to the bigger lies that can change the course of appropriate action towards a way un-required if the lie was left untold. Those little lies like: “Tell them I’m not home.” Meaning: I don’t want to be bothered seeing you right now. We lie: To keep out of trouble To have control of an issue To gain more of a reward than telling the truth Most liars think that there are greater rewa

As leaders we are always on the lookout for ways to empower and grow our team. One of the classic ways to do this is to ask questions rather than assert our own viewpoint. Asking questions can: Save time in the medium to long term Empower people to extra-ordinary performance Coach people in the desired behaviours Unleash commitment and energy Questions are powerful because they use pull communication, pulling the answer from individuals, which increases ownership and therefor

Everyone has good days and bad days, don’t they?  You know those days when everything seems to go wrong, when we say the wrong thing at the wrong time or do the polar opposite of what was required at that moment. As an effective leader, your job is to spot the difference between a temporary blip in performance and a much more serious dip. You need to know about performance issues before they become a problem. There was a time when you could do this just by using your instinct

The challenge for leaders today is to blend logic with emotion. This is the paradox of business and organisations today. The business of business, money, budgets, setting targets, K.P.I.’s and corporate responsibilities, requires a large amount of logic to get through the processes successfully. Logic has its’ place, however our real success is through the performance of people and teams. We have an emotional attachment to our targets, for example. Without this emotional atta

People who have strayed from the proper path of acceptable performance can soak up a lot of your time and energy and you can be forgiven for thinking that you should get through the process in a quick and effortless way to maximise your time and get on with the real and necessary work. There is a danger to this thinking because when people face disciplinary action for  poor behaviour or unacceptable performance, this can be just as much down to a failure of management. Just a

Have you noticed that some people’s behaviour is immature at best and childish in the extreme sometimes? If you are a manager, you may have noticed that your team can “play up” and be difficult? Most children need structure in order to thrive and remain free from harm. Children require direction and encouragement when they attempt something new or complicated for them. They may not know what is needed right now, because the future doesn’t occur to them as something to think a

There are a lot of people in high places who have the wrong idea about executive coaching, which I would like to change! I get objections about the benefits of coaching from folk who work on the assumption that coaching isn’t “real work”. This is usually based around their beliefs about the reality of effective coaching . There is also a negative belief that people should have their face into their work and only come up for air at lunchtime or at the end of the working day. I

Getting employees to engage with the organisation in a meaningful and lasting way fills the core of most HR team’s day/ month/ year. Doing this early in the recruitment process pays dividends further down the line in deeper engagement and alignment with organisation goals, vision and mission. When should we start? Here’s a story, which tells us that the earlier you start, the more memorable it is. On July 20, 1969, as commander of The Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong wa

We are taught to think that all forms of conflict are bad. Mothers will want to smooth things over when sons fight, or daughters squabble. Managers are the same. They want a quiet time, with everything nice and calm. This is ok if you want average. This is good, if you just want good enough. Keeping out of harm’s way, putting your head below the parapet, not wanting to get noticed, all of these thoughts are the result of poor thinking. If you want excellence, a way of working

I was coaching a client through some issues recently that they were having at work and in doing so I used a metaphor of a burning platform to explain a way to get real and lasting behaviour change. Many managers have issues around getting their team to make the behaviour changes required for ongoing success and growth. Within this scenario there is good news and bad news. What’s The Bad News? The bad news is that you cannot change someone’s behaviour. That’s right, you read t

Cards on the table: I’m not a fan of red tape and more regulation. You will often find me arguing long and hard for less red tape and fewer rules as I think it kills creativity. However, I have to admit that it has not gone unnoticed by me that those items that are regulated within business has a tendency to be first on the budget list when it comes to training people. Not withstanding my smouldering jealousy for my Heath & Safety Training Colleagues who ride the regulatory w