Have you ever turned up at work to find the boss in a bad mood, then discover that you too are having a bad day? Not only that, but everyone around you is feeling down? It may not be news to you that emotions are contagious, that people can be infected by our mood. However, what may be new to you is that you choose your mood. You have to give permission to yourself, or allow yourself, to be in this particular mood. Psychologists call a mood “State”. All behaviour is a result
Why are people so difficult? What can we do about them? There is one super concept that I want to share with you, but although the idea is simple, it is still very, very powerful. It also requires some thought by you. Before I give you this simple idea, I want you to step back a little and be strategic for a moment. When we are dealing with all people, what is our goal? Our goal is to increase teamwork and collaboration. I say this because, as leaders, we can only achieve wit
At one end of the scale you have out-and-out bullying with ethical persuasion at the polar opposite. From the selfish manager who just uses her team to get whatever it is that they want to the passive-aggressive who undermines your confidence to mould you into a jelly to get their way and they want it now! This corporate world is filled with managers and leaders who got where they wanted to get to by treading on other’s heads and if that’s what it takes to stay there, then so
We don’t like to be sold to, but we do love to buy. How many times has someone tried to “sell” something to someone and they are not going to buy? How many times have we sighed inwardly as we are approached by a smiling, shark-like person, their only aim is to part you from your hard-earned cash? I know I have done both! As a salesman for many years, I’ve tried and failed at all sorts of approaches to increasing sales. Now, if you are into a quick sale, this blog is not for y
I want to share one of the most forehead-slapping learning points that I’ve ever had when dealing with difficult behaviours. Changing someone’s behaviour has got to be the most challenging topic for any manager in today’s environment. This probably holds true for millennia because the issues go back to the dawn of time, but I’m getting way ahead of myself. It was during research for a client on Conflict Management that I ran across a sentence that leapt out of the page at me
There are many times that we need to get work done quickly and efficiently. We often go into “tell-mode” when time is short or we are under pressure. Telling people what to do is ok when we want our own way, to our specific details. The problem is when we come across a situation or a person where it is they who have the power to decide when and how they do something we want done. It is in these situations when we realise the limits of our power and skills of communication. Th
Questions. They are powerful things, aren’t they? They can change how you feel, from sad to happy, or they can change your life, like the question posed in the headline. Questions use what we like to call ‘pull’ communication to bring out your answer, which is the most powerful answer because it comes from you. You own it. Top performance coaches use ‘pull’ communication to get the very best from people and use the directive ‘push’ communication very little. Most people use ‘
Relationships The core of his success lies in the relationships he has with his players. He knows them intimately to the point where he knows how to get the very best from them. How he does this is very straightforward however his methods are hard to replicate. He forms strong bonds with the key characters in the club. This includes the back room staff as well as the Board of Directors. He knows, through bitter experience, how it is when relationships at Board level go wrong.
Are you one of those people who find social situations difficult and are secretly jealous of those who can just fit into any situation and get along with others easily and effortlessly? You envy those social butterflies who can flit from person to person, smiling and relaxed, seemingly without a care in the world. Getting along with people is a skill that some of us miss out on in early life and we forget that this can still be developed later on in our lives. Being confident
As an effective leader, your job is to spot the difference between a temporary blip in performance and a much more serious dip. You need to know about performance issues before they become a problem. There was a time when you could do this just by using your instinct or intuition and some managers still operate this way. However, times have changed. It is no longer good enough to operate using your experienced antenna as a guide to current performance levels. Let’s face it: y
Everybody lies, don’t they? From those little comments that spare someone’s blushes (white lies), to the bigger lies that can change the course of appropriate action towards a way un-required if the lie was left untold. Those little lies like: “Tell them I’m not home.” Meaning: I don’t want to be bothered seeing you right now. We lie: To keep out of trouble To have control of an issue To gain more of a reward than telling the truth Most liars think that there are greater rewa
Have you ever been paid a compliment at work and then ‘batted’ it away by saying something like: “I was only doing my job.”? We are brought up to be humble. There is something distasteful about someone who is boastful. You make sure that you are deferential to any authority. That’s perfectly reasonable but there is a catch: People don’t hear “Thank you!” Even when it is delivered with sincerity, people deflect a ‘thank you’ away with well-rehearsed lines, built over many year
This is the time of year when the world remembers those who fought and died in the two great world wars of the 20th Century. The Poppy that we wear with pride signifies our support for those who gave so much for us, so that we could live in peace and freedom. The Poppy represents the fields in France, where so many perished which are to this day. Many people in The UK will stop for 2 minutes silence on the anniversary of the end of World War One: The 11th hour of the 11th Day
Everyone has good days and bad days, don’t they? You know those days when everything seems to go wrong, when we say the wrong thing at the wrong time or do the polar opposite of what was required at that moment. As an effective leader, your job is to spot the difference between a temporary blip in performance and a much more serious dip. You need to know about performance issues before they become a problem. There was a time when you could do this just by using your instinct
This week is different. This week I’m in Nairobi taking a group of UN officials through their leadership paces. My energy and enthusiasm for the event has been replaced by an awareness of the dangers all travellers face. The day before I fly, an unknown number of people, maybe 30+, have been killed in a terrorist attack in Nairobi. I don’t know what the week will bring but I feel grateful for the advantages I have in the UK , even though we have suffered our share of outrages
What struck me was his smile, his wide, beaming smile. And who can blame him? From nowhere and no how, he shuffled up from the pack to deal a winning blow on the final hole to grasp the title and put yet another trophy on the shelf. There is more to this photo than meets the eye. Phil didn’t have to drop by his sponsor: they understood that he had already done his job by winning a Major Golf Tournament using their product. He could’ve gone about his business afterwards, sure
Emotional Intelligence isn’t just for our work. We could use E.I. to become aware of the quality of the life we already have. By thinking about and dealing effectively with the tension of “The Now” and “The Future”, we can aspire to being grateful for the life we have made and the delights of a future that our work and relationships will bring. Bob Marley understood that some people sleepwalk their way through life, thinking about the future all the time, but not experiencing
”The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” Chinese Proverb This saying makes me smile and continues to give me renewed encouragement whenever I am feeling challenged in an area of my work or life. Many people, including me, find great difficulty in changing an unwelcome behaviour or situation. Mine was biting my nails…oh and smoking.
Here are some of the “excuses” for not being able to change the habit that I have heard over the years.
The Leadership Trap
The Leadership Trap is a familiar story of success and then fading results: Senior Management want results across a number of areas and you are the one who is going to deliver these results, year after year. If not, you will have to be creative in your excuses, I mean reasons, for non-performance. As the years go by, this task becomes harder as results begin to plateau and the competition are coming up on the rails to overtake you. You know in your heart,
3 Ninja Leadership Moves A Ninja Leader knows when to go onto the offensive and can also defend vigorously. Ninjas are well versed in the art dealing with all kinds of people and always have their eyes on the prize, excellence. Here are some Ninja-style Leadership moves to change up performance in the people around you. Warning: Do not try these moves without deep combat Ninja Training. * Compliant Ninja Leader (defence) This Ninja knows that rules and regulations are importa