How To Deal With Liars


Everybody lies, don’t they? From those little comments that spare someone’s blushes (white lies), to the bigger lies that can change the course of appropriate action towards a way un-required if the lie was left untold. Those little lies like: “Tell them I’m not home.” Meaning: I don’t want to be bothered seeing you right now.

We lie:

To keep out of trouble

To have control of an issue

To gain more of a reward than telling the truth

Most liars think that there are greater rewards for lying than telling the truth.

If they remain unnoticed, then liars figure that they are ok and lying works!

Your job is to let them know the opposite:

There is a penalty if they perpetuate the lie and there is a reward for telling the truth.

Your Goal: 

Let them know there are greater rewards for telling the truth than perpetuating the lie

The Gentle Confrontation

Tell the person your reasons for doubting them. This could be their track record or even a guess on your part

If there is an inconsistency, tell them. If they have come up short on promises in the past, tell them.

Offer an apology right up front if you are wrong. “If I’m wrong, then I’ll apologise to you unreservedly.”

Let them know the positive consequences for telling the truth. Tell them that by telling the truth now, the consequences will be minimal and that you can support them and help them in the future.

Tell them the negatives of continuing the lie. This is the part where you pile on the pressure to tell the truth.

Say you’ll have to go to upper management, that you will not be able to support them in the future. Use every item you can think of to let them know the negatives of lying.

Ask for the truth.

Please note: No idle threats. The consequences must hold true, or you will be made to look foolish.

Have your best week ever

Email : mervyn@masteri.co.uk

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