We don’t say this to a child, do we? Then why do we say it to ourselves or worse, to others?
New parents often worry about the development of their child. Is she getting enough vitamins? Is he growing at the same rate as other children of their age? That sort of thing. More experienced parents tend not to concern themselves in the detail with second and subsequent offspring, because they have learned to relax and let nature take it’s course. A kind of: “It will all even out in the end” approach.
When the child is ready, he/she will begin the great journey towards walking upright.
You will know, if you have watched a baby trying to take it’s first steps, this is not easy!
The first stage of movement is usually shuffling about on their bottoms, or hands and knees. Then they will attempt to haul themselves up onto their feet by grabbing a chair or table, or anything! The first few times they try this, they will fall back down onto their bottoms. This will happen so regularly, that the parents will just observe and maybe be there close by to ensure baby doesn’t fall forwards and crack their heads
When the baby inevitably falls down, the parents do not say:
“Oh what a shame! This one is not a walker!”
Then why do we tell ourselves this when we try something new? If we wouldn’t say this to a child, then don’t say it to yourself. Encourage yourself when trying new things. Our negative inner dialogue is self-defeating, because we need encouragement, just like a child does, when we are trying out new behaviours or patterns of working.
Trying out new ways is hard because we have to consciously think about every detail of the new learning. This, in turn, is very demanding on us and is hard work. So when it doesn’t quite work the way it was supposed to, we get annoyed with ourselves. We may even tell ourselves off for being so slow and stupid!
Non of the above is resourceful thinking.
When using new learning, remind yourself that you are still learning and that this is an opportunity to develop your insight into how the new learning will benefit you, the team and your organisation in the long term. This will put you into a resourceful state to take on the new behaviours. Take the pressure off yourself to be perfect at it, because you are still learning!
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